expectations over dreams

"I wish I didn't write these poems." [verse poetry]

limiting beliefs,

delayed gratification,

mind. body & spirit.

one on one, with someone,

how intimate.

i rectify my case when i say,

that;

“i wouldn’t want to be alone”

because being alone is where i stand,

because my peace doesn’t lie—

within Man.

but it doesn’t matter now, does it?

stripping myself of dignity,

my soul and mind then, plummit.

“young forever”

but I feel as if I am running,

out of time.

oh, the memories of yearning, to pine.

there’s proof of age in the happiness that;

i’ve lived.

oh, to live far away, flee off-grid.

my words are not linear — no.

so, i propose my dreams to my journal,

this never ending curse of perfectionism -

it’s terminal.

continue to bury me with your burdens,

may the trauma you endured,

never worsen,

for i, will take it on.

it’s not obliged, more so a ride-along.

as much as it is your journey,

it has also been mine.

i’ve shed tears to my pillows &

to my blankets, for God to give me a sign.

I suffer from the wordly expectations,

as, self-hatred runs through my blood,

not much can be helped,

as these are the cards,

the devil had dealt.

and so, bring me to my coffin,

because maybe then — my world,

might soften.

from the harsh pressure,

and it’s cruelty.

wash me from my sins,

then cleanse me with —

purity.

“expectations over dreams”

i don’t dare to have them.

if i were to be within eternal sleep,

only then,

I would have been condemned.

signed by taintedpoesia

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